There is a famous quote, ‘comparison is the thief of joy’. These are words to live by, as comparison can take away your joy and satisfaction in life when left unchecked. In this post I will discuss how to stop comparing yourself to other people.
The google definition of comparison is the consideration of the similarities or dissimilarities between two things or two people. Does that sound familiar? Well think about the times when you have compared the way you look to someone else. Comparing yourself to other people can come in different forms. This can vary from comparing your looks, lifestyle, abilities, traits, and many other things.
5 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
To stop comparing yourself to other people, you need to start by boosting your self-confidence. It may be difficult but remember that this is a process that won’t happen overnight. But the results are worth it in the end.
- Do things for yourself
Most of the time when we compare ourselves to other people our ‘needs and wants’ become misaligned. For example, say that you are comparing yourself to someone who has a ‘better’ car than you. You set out to save money and work very hard to make sure that you get a car like theirs. Instead of working hard for yourself and getting a car that you want. You compete and fight for things that you may not even want because you are comparing yourself to other people. This can be a very frustrating process that can bring out jealously, anxiety and competitiveness.
So when you identify that you are in a vicious cycle of doing things because you are comparing yourself to someone else. What you need to do, is re-evaluate yourself. This can be done by acknowledging that your ‘wants or needs’ are coming from a place of comparison and low self-esteem. We are humans so these things are prone to happen. Comparing ourselves to people around us such as friends, family, colleagues even celebrities is common. However, we can do something about the incessant need to live a life of competition and comparison. That something is redirecting our ‘wants and needs’ from a place of comparison to prioritizing yourself.
This means that you don’t need to wreck your brain trying to be the best in your class so upstage other people. Instead if you are going to work hard and be the best at something. Learn to start doing things with yourself in mind. Be the best in your class for yourself.
Next time you are stuck in the cycle of comparing and competing. Do a self-evaluation of your ‘needs and wants’. This can be done by identifying where your reasons for wanting to be like ‘that person’ or have what they are coming from. Most of the time we end up realising that many factors are the reason why we compare ourselves. These factors can vary from, low- self-esteem, being compared to our siblings and much more. When we see that, we are usually then able to redirect those feelings from a place of comparison to doing things for ourselves.
- Limit Time on social media
Though social media can be a place where we can interact with different people, watch funny videos, join fun communities like ‘booktok, travelling and much more. There are some apps on social media where people spend a conspicuous amount of time editing and fixing themselves to present the perfect picture. For some people that is their job and lifestyle. However, a lot of people can agree that sometimes spending too much on social media actually enhance their insecurities.
If you are conscious about your looks, in any regard and you know that you spend a lot of time comparing yourself to people online. It is important that you either unfollow those accounts or limit your screen time. It will not help your mental well-being to spend hours on social media comparing yourself to people.
So alternatively, what you can do when limiting screen time is doing productive activities that can improve your overall well-being. You can read a book, go for a walk, pick up a hobby, join the gym for fitness, or spend time with your loved ones. These things can help you to improve your mental and physical well-being, instead on spending time comparing yourself to people who you do not know.
- You Don’t Know the Full Story
Sometimes we find ourselves comparing other peoples externals to our internal which is very unhelpful. We know by now that people on social media or even in real life, never really show the full picture and extent of things in their life. People can show you the glamorous side and what looks good.
But the truth is, we do not know the full story of what other people are going through in their lives. We do not know what it takes or what it took for them to get where they are or their silent struggles. So the next time you compare yourself to other people, consider how much of the full picture you know to compare their external to your internal.
- Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is a positive emotion that involves being thankful and appreciative. It is associated with several mental and physical health benefits. Being thankful is a very important quality that is an essential for us to have and practise.
Sometimes, when we focus too much on the way other people, we neglect to appreciate ourselves. One way to stop comparing yourself to others is practising gratitude.
We do this by being thankful for the things that we have in our lives. A comparing mind focuses on what it doesn’t have. But a grateful mind looks at the things that they have like friends, family, loved ones, good health, stable job, and everyday commodities. It may sounds like an easy and tedious task. But when we begin to practice gratitude sincerely, we begin to see how much we neglect the good in our lives.
- Celebrate other people.
When you compare yourself to other people it creates all kinds of negative feelings. Instead of looking at other people and comparing yourself to them start celebrating their wins. You will find that are ‘jealous’ when others succeed. These negative feelings feed into comparison and will make it hard for you to stop comparing yourself to other people.
For this reason, it is important that you learn how to celebrate other people’s wins. When your friends, family and other people share good news with you. Be happy for them. If your friend shares news that something amazing has happened for them, celebrate it. Just because someone is doing well, does not mean that you are a failure. Their successes have nothing to do with you. As you are celebrating other people, keep working on your own successes it will happen for you as well. Believe it when they say there is room for everyone to win.
O’L Takeaway
The fact that you have consciously sought to learn how to stop comparing yourself to other people shows your willingness to change and be better. Comparison is the thief of joy. These are some tips that you can use to help you to stop comparing yourself to other people.
