As a child, it was unlikely for me to go abroad for my holidays. I went to France and Spain a couple of times, but we mainly visited places in the U.K., even if it was just as a day trip. As I grew older, these trips significantly reduced and I spent most of my teenage years in my hometown. At the age of 18 I ventured off to University. This was my first experience living in a new town and living alone. Whilst I was there, I was presented with the opportunity to do a free internship in China which was sponsored by my University. Of course I said yes to it and was lucky enough to live there for 2 months. I saw part of the world that I never thought I would experience and will always be grateful for it. This was my first big trip abroad without my parents and since then, I have had the travel bug. As COVID prevented many of us from travelling, I made sure to go away as soon as it was possible. I found myself booking trips abroad nearly every month, even if it was only for the weekend. Now you may be thinking, yeah you just enjoy travelling, and I do. However, as I reach 27 years old, I have taken a break from travelling due to finances which has made me question some things. The main question right now for me is ‘am I travelling to escape reality?’.
Travels after University
After I graduated University I struggled to get a job. Finally, after a year and a half, I got a job at a call centre. This role had nothing to do with my degree and did not pay very much. I stayed here for just over a year working in multiple roles within the job. It got to the point where I felt unfulfilled and as I was in my early 20s, I decided to quit with no backup job. At the time, I had around £1700 in my account. With this money I decided to do a solo trip to multiple countries in Europe for 3 weeks. I visited Naples, Sicily, Malta and Barcelona. I had an amazing time and felt so free. Even though it was just after COVID, with some restrictions still in place, I still had an amazing time. I had never felt anything like this before. It was as if all of my problems had disappeared. I loved this feeling so much I started to chase it.
Flexibility of travelling
When I barely had any money left, I headed back home and got a job as a Personal Trainer. As I was self-employed, I was able to set my own schedule. This role allowed me to travel more than a regular 9-5 because I could do weekend trips without having to take annual leave. So that is exactly what I did. In my year working as a Personal Trainer, I visited around 8 countries. I was loving life, or at least that is what my mind tells me. In reality, I could barely afford these trips. I was using all of my money towards the trips, barely saving anything and would often stress about not having money to live my day-to-day life. I know some people may think this was stupid and others may think, yeah you’re young do what you want. To this day I do not regret my decisions as I made some great memories. However, as I have gotten older and am now working in a different role, I have started to think that this was a form of escapism. To this day I yearn for more holidays, more adventures, more travels. When life starts to get difficult I look for flights.
Why I think it’s escapism
I am going to be completely transparent and honest with you here. I do not think I was happy with my life and travelling allowed me to escape my reality. Travelling allowed me to visit new places and I was able to forget my troubles at home. I think that because I was/ still not where I want to be in life, travelling made me feel like I had accomplished something.
I’d be lying to you if I said I didn’t love the comments from my peers saying ‘You’re never in the country’ or ‘You’ve always got a trip planned’. It made me feel interesting. Whilst others got their Masters degree and progressed in their careers, I continued spending my money on these holidays. There are people who I know who were able to save up for houses, or got into serious relationships, or had amazing careers. It felt that because I had none of those things, travelling was the only thing that I could control. It was as if I was leaving the country to show people that ‘hey, I’ve got my life together too’.
In addition to this, I had something to look forward to. As I did not do much in my spare time, I would spend my days counting down the days to my next flight. Of course this was not the only reason, I loved exploring new places and meeting new people. However, now I have reduced how much I am travelling, new feelings have come surfaced.
Consequences
Now I am trying to save money, it means I am having to face my problems without leaving the country. It has been difficult (woe is me right?). I know there are bigger problems in the world, but I do not think I am alone in this. I sometimes feel that I am behind in life because I spent time trying to travel. The thing is, I don’t want to stop with my travels, but part of me sometimes feels I am doing life wrong. I see people progressing in different ways in their lives and I am still trying to find ways to book more trips abroad.
I’m not saying this is wrong. There’s no one right way to live. In a world where social media is so big and people show you all their success and never the bad times, it can feel like we are all living incorrectly at times.
What I have decided to do is to try and face my problems head-on. I have decided that I need to be sensible which means if I cannot afford a trip, I will not spend my last penny to afford it. I will be patient and save up. Even if I have the urge to book to escape, it is time to face reality.
Final comments
As a final comment, I don’t think spending your money on travels is bad. I don’t think prioritising it is bad either. Life is for living, so live it.
I won’t stop travelling, this isn’t what this message is about. It’s more just a realisation that although I love travelling, I do use it to escape reality. You may also be reading this and either thinking perhaps you do the same, or maybe you do not relate. Sometimes it is better to face your fears straight on instead of escaping them. Sooner or later they will show themselves.
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