Self Worth Definition
Value is defined as the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something. The trick is identifying that value within yourself and improving your self-worth. In this post I look at How to value yourself: 5 ways to improve your self worth.
Value in perspective
There is a Christian belief, that, if you were the only person on earth, Christ would have still come on earth and died for you and you only. A parable in the bible called the parable of the lost sheep highlights this idea. The parable teaches us of a farmer, who lost one sheep, and so left the ninety-nine to look for that one sheep. I can imagine that someone is thinking, but why risk so much for just one sheep. Well, that is how much, in the Christian Faith, we matter and are valuable to God. If that is how much we matter to God, then it is important that we learn to start valuing ourselves.
When we do not value ourselves, we end up losing aspects of who we are. There are many ways that you can lose yourself, this can be through friendships, relationships, workplaces, and different process that we go through in life. Sometimes what happens is that when we do not learn to value ourselves: we look for that self-value in others. Once again, this can be in relationships, friendships or the workplace. But value is something that we need to begin from within.
1. Do not seek for your self-value in relationships.
A lot of the time, when people fail to value themselves and who they are. They look for their value and self worth in relationships. If you find that you are in a place where you are insecure and don’t feel that you value yourself. The last place to seek that self-value is in a romantic relationship especially.
It is vital to first, learn to value yourself, and who you are rather than looking for someone else to do it for you. The expectation for someone else to do this for you can be dangerous. This is because you can become reliant on that person for your self worth.
It can make you feel worse, when the person you rely on to make you feel good about your worth disappoints you. Remember that, because we are human, disappointments are prone to happen in relationships. Which is why you can’t place precious things like your value and self worth on to others.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other people
The quote, ‘your power is that no one is you’ is accurate. The fact that no one is you is your biggest superpower. Unfortunately, not many of us see that and end up falling into the trap of comparing ourselves to other people. The issue is that, when you start to compare yourself to other people, you won’t see your value. To put it in perspective, how can you appreciate one thing and see its beauty, if you are too busy comparing it to another?
You need to find ways to appreciate your uniqueness and differences. It’s easy to think our lives would be better if we were other people, but this is a limited view of life. You don’t know how it feels to be that person. You don’t know the struggles and challenges they face. So, why not, learn how to love who you are. Challenge yourself to stop comparing yourself to other people- from your looks, to job, relationship status , and your life. One way to do this is by being grateful for the things you already have.
3. Invest in hobbies
Another way that you can start to value yourself, is by learning new hobbies. It is really important that you try to learn new hobbies, especially the things that you love. This can look different for a lot of people. Some people learn how to play an instrument, cook, bake, knit, play an outdoor sport and so many more other things.
There’s a fulfilment that comes with investing in the things that you love. Spending time on an activity that you enjoy can help to improve your mental wellbeing. Some of the benefits linked to hobbies are reduced stress, improved social connection, and as mentioned, enhanced wellbeing.
4. Minimise the negative self-talk
Negative self talk, is something that we all experience from time to time. Talking negatively about ourselves can come in different forms. This can be telling yourself that ‘you will never be good at something’, ‘that you will always be a failure’, that no ‘one will ever love you’. Just reiterating these statements make me realise how cruel we can be to ourselves. For that reason, negative self-talk is something that you have to minimise as it can majorly affect your mental health.
One way that you can work on minimising the negative self talk is catching your inner self critic. When you identify that you are being negative to yourself begin to stop. You can do this by responding to those thoughts. For the statement, ‘no one will ever love you’, respond to that by telling that thought that it is not true, or ever will be. Whether you know it or not, you are loved, you are worthy and you matter.
5. Seek for guidance
The truth is that, it is not always straightforward to value yourself and work on your self worth. No one expects that you should know all the answers to these issues. I also don’t presume that this blog post has all the answers to helping you. Therefore, when you find that you doubting who you are and your value. It is important that you reach out to people that you trust. This can be your family members, mentors, therapists, church, or professional health care providers. Bottom line is that when things get hard, it is important to seek for guidance.
O’L Final Thoughts
The issue of self value and self worth a is an ongoing journey that you have to embark on. It is important that when you identify that you don’t value yourself: you start to do the things that will help you see that you are valuable and worthy. It is also equally important that you seek the help that you need from people that you trust or professional health care providers.
You are loved, You are worthy and You matter.
