Life involves a lot waiting, learn how to be patient. These are the words that have been echoing in my mind recently. Every now and then, we have to remind ourselves of fundamental virtues like patience. These virtues have to be learnt time and time again as it is easy to forget them.
What is Patience?
The definition of the word ‘patience’ is being able to accept or tolerate delays, problems, or suffering without becoming anxious or annoyed. We are human beings, so we won’t always respond to adversity in this manner.
There are 3 different facets of patience:
- Patience in interpersonal relationship
- Being patient concerning your future
- Patience in every day life
There are different reasons why people become impatient; let’s look at a few of them:
Fast paced living.
We live in a fast past world, where information streams faster into us than any other time in human history. Think about all the things that are easily accessible to us now. If you order something online, you can have it in a matter of time. The pace of life seems to be going faster and faster each day.
What this means is that most of us have become accustomed to expecting things to happen quickly. We think that this fast-moving world applies to every part of our lives. But unfortunately, that is not the reality that most are faced with. You may get that online purchase within 30 minutes from the time you ordered it. But, when it comes to your life, there are things that still require you to wait and be patient for.
Social Media
Social media only shows us, *literally*, a picture or glimpse of someone’s life. Your Instagram feed can show you a post of someone saying they just bought a 3-bedroom house. But what you wont see is the 5 to 10 years of work they did to save up for that house. Social Media shows you the finished picture but not the process that people go through.
Life involves a lot of waiting: Learn to be patient.
The inspiration for this statement has been my own life. I was in a season where I was waiting for things to move forward. The truth is that it was a very difficult time filled with so much uncertainty and anxiety. I realised at this time that the most important lesson that I had to learn was becoming a patient person.
An example of my own impatience is when lockdown was first announced. At the time I was learning how to drive and felt that I needed to pass immediately. I was feeling the pressure of being in my 20s and not being able to drive yet. However, when lockdown was announced, no one could learn how to drive or take the driving tests. To put it in perspective, let me just say that I had to wait another full year to do my driving test.
It was not an easy wait because tests were hard to come along due to the massive backlog. Regardless of my feelings of how much I wanted to drive, there was nothing I could do but wait. I learnt then that sometimes things are just beyond our control, and we have to accept the situation we are in. Well, I can tell you now that I chose to wait out this situation anxiously. I look back now and see that it would’ve been better to just wait patiently, rather than stress over something I could not change.
How to become a patient person
- Acceptance
Patience is being able to accept or tolerate delays, problems, or suffering without becoming anxious or annoyed.
Acceptance is an essential part of becoming a more patient person. Remember that patience is being able to ‘accept or tolerate’ without becoming anxious or annoyed. A lot of the time when we are waiting for things to happen, we become consumed with the hypotheticals. This is what causes people to become anxious then impatient. But the truth is that in most circumstances there is no way for you to know the outcome of what you are waiting for. Which is why it is better to accept the conditions of the present moment. If you are a person of Faith, this is where I would say keep the faith and trust in the process.
Acceptance is also recognizing that things take time. Social media has got us used to instant gratification and we expect things to happen immediately. As I mentioned earlier, this is not always the reality which is why it is better to accept that things can take time to happen. Rather than waiting around anxiously, enjoy the process and trust that you will achieve the things you want.
2. Plans Change
A lot of the times when I am feeling impatient it is a result of feeling uncomfortable. We can get uncomfortable when things don’t go our way or when plans change. I am in no way saying it is okay for people to always cancel or change plans on you as this is not fair. But becoming a more patient person is acceptance that things will not always go as planned. Essentially, learn to leave room for the unexpected. Doing this, will help you tolerate unforeseen outcomes that can happen on a day-to-day basis.
3. It is not always about you.
Impatience in a lot of ways is a mindset focused mainly on the self. To put it plainly, it can be seen as a selfish mindset. It is okay, to feel impatient, we are human, so we are prone to feeling like this. But losing control on how we manage impatience can end up hurting not only us, but those around us.
So, it is important to remember that you are part of a bigger picture, a world full of people with their own worries, problems, issues, ambitions, and perspectives. Things are not always what they seem to be in the naked eye. People go through things that we may not know about. So, seeing it from a different angle can help you to feel less frustrated when things don’t go your way.
4. Keep a note of your triggers.
Keeping an account on the things that cause that feeling of impatience is important. We all have our everyday triggers. Some of which I have mentioned already. I know that I struggle to wait for people or tend to feel that I need to rush when I am late. These are the things (and many more) that cause the feeling of impatience for me.
Being aware of these things will help you to know the things that cause you to be impatient. I suggest that you are journalling, as this will help you consciously be aware of your emotions.
5. Slow Down
People who are impatient often feel the need to rush everything that they do. I see it all the time with drivers who speed on the road. In my head I always think, there is no world where all that curving and overtaking is necessary as it puts other road users as risks. When we are impatient and rush everything, what usually happens is that we get worked up and do things less effectively. Which is why when you are feeling anxious and impatient, it is important to learn slow down and breathe in that moment. This is something that I am learning myself to slow down. As this helps me to not be worked up and frustrated. It also helps me to process my thoughts better.
O’L Final Thoughts
Patience is a virtue, so time again we have to learn how to become patient people again. This learning does not happen overnight rather we implement things in our daily lives to help us to become more patient people for ourselves and those around us.
If you feel like your impatience is a result of a deeper underlying issue, make sure to seek help from a trained medical/ trained professional.
